Christians are Bad Tippers

Christians are Bad Tippers.

I read this from Adam McClane’s facebook post.  It rings SO TRUE!!  When I am done with this server thing, and actually get a ministry call to FT College ministry I plan on writing a series of blogs about “what I learned while serving”.  Well I thought this was a great place to start!

The other day I was reading Steve Dublanica’s blog, Waiter Rant, in which he had a post entitled “Who are the worst tippers?“ Essentially, Steve was querying his reading audience… people who make most of their money from tips… who are the worst tippers.

And the comments were revealing.

There seem to be two kinds of bad tippers in the United States.

1. People from countries where they don’t tip.
2. The after church crowd.

But the worst? Sunday Church goers who sit for hours and hours and leave 3 bucks on a $40 bill.

What does that say about believers that we think so little of the people who serve us that we, as a people group, are known as cheap?

‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ Matthew 25:45

Let’s review. Here’s a link to some tipping ettiquette. This is what is expected, to not do at least this is rude.

If you are going to go to lunch after church and hang out for an extended period of time, it is also customary to double tip on your table since the server is actually losing another table because you’ve stayed so long.

Let’s presume that we, as a people group, are doing this because we just don’t know any better. But now that you know that “we” are known as bad tippers, I’d hope “we” adjust our behavior accordingly. I’d hate to presume that we really are cheap jerks!

Things that make you go hmmm…

So for the past number of months i’ve been working about 3 jobs plus the pastor thing as a volunteer.  This has been a little crazy to say the least, but needs to be done.  It has also allowed me to get a fresh reminder where people are in life.  Being on staff at a Church kind of cocooned me.  Being back in “life” I have been able to really grab a fresh perspective on people and their lives.  And until recently it wasn’t even a major thought that I was a pastor, so I was able to observe, talk and work with out that “title”.  Recently though, for some reason, it has become a more prevalent topic or thought.

I have had some interesting discussions with one co-worker in particular, we’ll call her Wilma.  Wilma asked me one day what I did besides work at the restraunt.  I told her, ‘I work at a coffee shop, i’m in the Army National Guard and i’m a pastor.’  Her response: “A Pastor?  Is that like some religious thing?”  What a question!  It tells so much about this generation and those that are coming.  There are so many people that have NO connection to the Church or anything.  They know nothing.  We have since had some very good conversations, and I have had to go back to explaining the absolute basics, even so far as to explain denominations vs religions.  But the other day was a doozy that I didn’t see coming.  She asked me: “Is the Anti-Christ a man?  And is the world really going to end in 2010?”  It kind of tied back to a question she asked me a few days earlier about her necklace and omens.  So I talked about many “theories” about when the world will end and nobody really knows etc.  But the Anti-Christ one was a little odd, to me, considering her other questions.  But when she went on to explain why, she asked: ‘Could I be the Anti-Christ?  I have been accused of it before.”  She was very serious in this question, and was completely concerned that she could be.  I did my best explaining what the scriptures say and encouraging her to read for herself, but she didn’t want to read the whole bible just to learn the end.  Again, interesting idea.  She assumed that the bible was written like a Novel or something where if you miss the book of Song of Songs you’ll be totally lost.  Wow!  God really placed me somewhere with a need.  Wilma is not the only one at that place with hurt and questions, it’s just one example of what God is doing through opportunities at a restaurant.

I will probably get her a bible soon, and encourage her to read through John.  I also had the opportunity to present the Gospel to her very directly and casual, it was so cool (I used a tool from Dare 2 Share).  So pray for Wilma, that the Gospel and her questions would find answers that point her to Christ!  Also that the Lord will continue to use me where He has me.

Tired

As of late I don’t get to do a whole lot of formal college ministry stuff, much less anything else.  Working a FT job, a PT job, the army national guard, two wonderful children under 4, a super wife and the college ministry has left me pretty tired of late.  But it’s all good.  I struggle more within myself than anything.  I feel guilty for not giving enough attention to certain areas of my life, admittedly the ministry has gone to the back burner.  Even though it is on a volunteer basis, I really want to give it the full attention in needs, but I decided a while ago that family comes first.  So while things aren’t happening like or as quick as i’d like, they’re still happening, and God will still get His will accomplished regardless of my “availability”.

Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to give the teaching at our new Church for the first time.  It was the final part in a 3 part series the senior pastor was doing on discerning God’s will in our life.  I talked from Nehemiah 1-6.  What a fantastic picture of a man that was aware and in touch with God daily and understood what his purpose in life was.  The awesome thing was, it didn’t happen over night.  God put him in different places, and put different people in his life, so that when the time was right (God’s time), Nehemiah would have what was needed to go and pursue God’s purpose in his life.

It was so relevant to where my family and I are in this chapter of our lives.  I can see things from the past and how they have helped shape me and how certain events have happened to prepare me to go.  I admit, in the past i got frustrated at the process, and really wanted it to come faster, however I tried to keep all this in mind, that God’s timing is perfect and I just need to be aware of Him and His purpose.

Here goes nothing.

Perfect Picture of what College ministry

I was reading an article today about Joe Paterno Head Football coach @ Penn State University and what keeps him going at his age and still able to coach.  This is what he said one day as he was walking with his own son, also an assistant coach on the team:

“You’ll understand, once you have kids, that life changes. You’ll find that your happiness is defined by your least happy child. You’ll understand. Every player we have, someone—maybe a parent, a grandparent, someone—poured their life and soul into that young man. They are handing that young man off to us. They are giving us their treasure, and it’s our job to make sure we give them back that young man intact and ready to face the world.”

This about sums up the whole purpose for college ministry.  People have entrusted you, us, the school with their child, grandchild or whomever and it is up to us (through God of course), to help them be “intact and ready to face the world.”

The whole idea of College is this transition from childhood – yes I said Child, 17 year olds, still a child – to adulthood.  From the freedom to choose how they manage their time, who their friends will be, the consequences of every decision made will affect you, and others and all the other things that go along with College/young adult life.  As a pastor to this demographic we have a tremendous responsibility.  Youth ministry is great, I have done it for year, but I argue that the greatest time of change and adjustment is not in the middle school/high school years, but rather the 18-25 year old range.  And how much less resources is given to people ministering to them?!

After college the world will slap them upside the head like a 2 x 12!  College loans, family, kids, work, taxes, bills, bosses, friends go separate ways and so much else.  God has charged us “and it’s our job to make sure we give them back that young man intact and ready to face the world.”

So to Jo Pa, I say, AMEN!!!

College Ministry

Dear Diary.  Ok, I never really understood that, you’re writing on a piece of paper, and you’re acting as if it’s a real person.  Anywhos, it’s been a good couple of months.  I have been at the Church as the college and career age pastor, and have had some good discussions, and some pretty obvious hurdles.  But that’s all they are, and I ran hurdles in high school, so it’s ok, albeit, not very good, but that’s not the point!  A while back I had a conversation with a young man who really felt God asking him to start a bible study, but wasn’t sure what or when or where.  So we met and talked and started to work through some of that.  A while back I contacted the Dean of the College.  For me, this is where it starts.  To build bridges with the college faculty, staff and such to make connections, support, and introduce myself and learn how I can serve the campus.  To my amazement, this man was all for anything!  He said there will be space available, resources available, anything!  I will use him as my point of contact, and he went so far as to give ideas and encourage me to get things going!  This was a huge surprise on my part!  A good one.  But I wasn’t prepared for that, so now, it’s a matter of getting things in place and starting to get things coordinated for some things to happen on and off campus.  I didn’t think we were going to be to this point for another 3 months or so.  But here we are.  It’s awesome!  I then had a colleague of mine call and said there were some guys who heard about what we were doing and want to be a part of it, again Go God!  We have a small group and all I did was talk and spread the word (at least that’s how I look at it).  It’s so cool to see how God works when you say “yes” to Him.

I just got off the phone with a guy in Kansas who is doing college ministry, and we had a very good discussion.  I got the chance to talk ministry, life, struggles etc.  He had some great insights and a wonderful heart!  I will definitely keep him in my prayers.

College ministers are so few and far between in that regard, it’s great to dialogue and build some circles.  There is a guy named Benson Hines, who is doing some great stuff as far as bridging some of these circles and opening peoples eyes to college ministry.  Check him out here.  He is driving thru and I really hope he has time to stop by, I’d love to talk with him.

More and more College Ministry my thoughts and understanding of college ministry are being either confirmed or moving and growing.  Where is the Church in this age group?  We pump millions of dollars into youth ministry every year just to send them off to college with nothing (except a book we gave them at graduation).  College is the biggest and most influential time in a persons life.  They are away from their parents, aspects of life are much more acceptable, accessible and experimental.  So we send off our high school grads with the idea that ‘we’ve given them the foundation they need to get through the next four years.’  Who are we kidding?!  Adults, without support and guidance will typically fail in one are or another, I know I do all the time if I don’t stay connected or deliberate in my personal growth.  Why do we think an 18 -25 year old is going to be any better?  Then we think, ‘they’ll go to college and spread their wings, when they’re done they’ll come back to the Church.’  Some will even add, ’sure they will, I did.’  We’re fooling ourselves.  They’re not coming, they’re not bringing their young families, they have NO idea how their faith is really relevant to their every day life, and we forget about them for 4-8 years while in college anyways.  Where is the Church!?

And College ministry is NOT just another youth ministry, and we can’t expect it to be.  It is a missions field!  College students have a ton on their plate, and they are the ones that choose what they will be involved with.  And guess what it’s not Church anymore.  Why would establishing a mid-week or something youth groups for college kids work?  Except for those few students who made it through high school with a faith strong and ready to be involved.  But that is like 1 out of every 10-15 kids in your youth group.  The rest are either on the fringe or just don’t care.  College Ministry is a missions field!

Some of the big things on my heart and mind right now are:

Career.  We knew that this place is a transition place, but maybe it isn’t…we’re really not sure.  I’d like to have some clarity by late winter.

Friends.  Some friends of ours are struggling, and have been for a while now, with their family planning.  I really hope they get some answers soon.

There is also some friends that have recently found out that they will be parents after many years of waiting out the adoption process.

Work.  Right now I am working at a restaurant, i’m in the army national guard, i am the college pastor and am considering taking on another job to help pay some bills and put some money away.  It’s a lot going on, but it’s all with the idea that it’s hopefully temporary until the spring.

Family. Some very good things and some hurt.  Either way, i’m looking forward to seeing everyone.

Wow

Ok, it’s been awhile.  We have finally made it to Wyoming.  I’m sorta getting settled in.  I have a job offer at Applebees as a server and I have accepted.  Right now it’s the only thing that’s come up, and I need something.  I start that saturday morning.  I also start my army career in the guards next month after labor day.  I’m pretty excited about it, it will be interesting to see how all that works out.  I am still working through the process of enrolling in seminary at Bethel in St. Paul, MN pursuing a Masters of Arts in Christian Thought (Philosophy and Apologetics).  I’m pretty excited about it, but nervous about the whole online thing.  I think I may to the “dimensions of faith” online stuff through Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary.  It’s a totally free series of courses.  It’s all seminary level classes and such, you don’t get a degree, but hopefully it will help me get in the mind set of doing school online and the such.  Check it out sometime.  I’m coming to recognize within myself that some of the pain I have from some past events are bigger than I originally thought, I guess that’s what happens when you seperate yourself from them.  I want to work through it and move on, but there is always something that seems to pop up and open up a wound again, and it probably won’t stop for a while.  But I digress…

Football season is starting!  My 49ers are looking pretty good, especially in a week NFC west.  So that’s exciting, now if only Michigan would get things turned around…oh wait they have Rich Rodriguez…never mind.

I have a meeting tomorrow with the Churh we’re worshipping at to talk college/young adult ministry, pretty excited about that, and the possibilities there.  I’m not really sure what to expect there or what it will look like, but we’ll see.  Either way, it’s what i’m supposed to be doing, so it will be a HUGE learning experience.

I still need to find my stupid external hard drive!!!!!!!!  GRRRRRR!!!!!!!  I know the box and it had some important items in that box, and I cannot seem to find it.  Frustrating.  Anywhos.  That’s enough rambling for now.

can never do things slowly

So we’re in the home stretch of our time in Mitchell and we’re busy little beavers getting everything lined up.  Last week we purchased a “new” car. It is a 2007 Chrysler Pacifica.  It’s a nice vehicle and we really were feeling crunched in our other vehicle.

We also haven’t really started packing, i’m not too worried, we’ll just crash it the last week we’re here, much easier.  Have to get a moving truck and trailer.  I have applied at Starbucks Coffee for a job, that should be good for connections and flexible enough to get the time off I need for school.

Along with that, I am still working on all the application stuff.  The catch is I need to know what I will be doing at the Church as a volunteer before I can fully enroll.  So we’re plugging away at that.

And then today I went down to the local Army National Guard recruiter and started the process of re-enlisting in the army.  I will join a Public Affairs unit for a year or so and then transfer into the Chaplain Corp upon registration into seminary.  This has been a crazy week and it will only get better, with the packing, loading and oh yea, I have to take the middle schoolers to Missouri on the 31st for the weekend.  We also have a 3 week old little girl.

It never fails in our family, we don’t do anything small or one at a time.  When we moved to Mitchell our son was about the same age as our daughter is now, we were trying to sell a house, I was starting something new, and all sorts of other craziness.  I love it though.  I like to have things mixed up, I get super bored when it becomes routine and mundane.  In fact I lose focus quite a bit.  So this is good for me, this is when I do well.  It kind of annoys some people though (see: she who must be obeyed), because I get so “busy” and always going to get things done that I don’t slow down too much until the evening hours.  Either way, it’s an exciting time in our lives and family and we are very excited about it!

3 months ago when I resigned from the Church I didn’t have a job lined up, no where to go afterwards, a baby not yet born and so many unaswered questions that people thought, and probably still do, we were nuts!  We firmly felt that God was calling us to move on to the next stage in our lives.  So we took a leap of faith and it’s been fun to see how God is working it out, we have not really been stressed or concerned because we know this is what needs to happen for our family.  So til next time!  Probably be writing from Wyoming.

12 Reasons for College Ministry from Transformers 2

Thanks to Benson Hines for this great example of college ministry and the need for it!  He’s doing GREAT things, check him, and his FREE book about College Ministry!  He is putting into words pretty much everything (and more) that has been in my mind and heart for about 8 years now!  I’m stoked that there are more people out there that see the incredible need for this age group.  Hopefully Churches will see not only the value in it, but the fact that it CANNOT be compared to or evaluated the same way as a youth or children’s ministry.  Keep it up Benson!!

12 Reasons We Need College Ministry, as Revealed by Transformers

1. Students need help dealing with the relationships they’ve left at home (e.g., parents, favorite cars, and Megan-Foxes).

2. Parents need help letting go of their students.

3. The party scene.

4. The computer-geek-conspiracist scene.

5. Crazy roommates (e.g., kitten-calendar magnates, mentally unstable room-trashers).

6. Aggressive hotties!

7. Aggressive bullies!

8. Pompous professors (who look like that one guy on that one show…).

9. Know-it-all classmates.

10. The dangers and opportunities of traveling abroad.

11. Co-ed dorms!

12. College freshmen might just turn out to be heroes – they just need help (from awesome robots or senior adult robots or college ministers) to get there!

She’s here!

We have a new baby girl!  She was born June 25th at 8:39 am; weighed 8lbs – 2 oz; length 19 3/4″  Name is Elizabeth Anne!  Everyone is doing well and mom and baby come home today!

Arcade Game for sale

I have an upright Arcade Game for sale.  It is called “Air Busters” it is a one or two person horizontal shooter.  You fly through shooting other ships, collecting power ups, and defeating the boss’ at the end of the level.  It is a ton of fun and works perfectly!  It is a simple enough concept that the kids can play and enjoy!  I have recently replaced the monitor in it, so the picture is good.  It is wired so you never need to use any money to play or keep track of!  I’m asking $800 obo!  Enjoy the classic feel of the arcade!  Please contact me via my “about” page.