I’m kind of rambling here, sorry, just some observations.

This is why I try not to talk about politics too much, because I really don’t know that much about it.  And I hate conspiracy theories.  They make good movies, and that’s about it for me.  And why is it that politics create such angry people?  If you’re associated with one political party, it’s always the others fault, always.  We never look at our own ideas and ask if there’s something about them that we can evaluate.  ‘because of the republicans/democrats America is a disaster’.  Yea, i’m pretty sure it’s not one party’s fault.

Are we really this selfish?

And the thing with the internet is when you comment on something or post something everyone has an opinion, which sometimes turn into an argument.  Then other people chime in and you end up so far off topic sometimes.  It gets out of control.  It has, in a sense, completely taken the personal human interaction out of life.  It’s easy for me to say something about something or someone on a wall, blog, post etc but it’s another thing to say those exact words to someones face.  We don’t know how to have healthy personal interaction/problem resolution.

So yea, there are times that I really just want to climb into a hole and just imagine that the world around me doesn’t exist and that everything in my little bubble is how the rest of the world is.  I mean, I really like controlling my environment, I like my bubble, it’s comfy (usually), I understand it.  A lot of these other people and their ideas, I just think “huh?!  how in the world can you think like that or do that?!”  But is that good?  I was talking to a guy, whom I have a great deal of respect for, back in December about raising kids in this crazy world.  He has 3 beautiful daughters, I have a couple of kids, who I think are pretty awesome.  He lives in an area that is very different than the area I do (in several ways), and I asked him if it scares him to raise his kids in that kind of crazy environment?  He said (i’m going to paraphrase) ‘No.  Not this area in particular.  I would rather walk with my kids through some of this mess, and answer questions with them.  Help them have a healthy understanding of the bigger world.  Secluding and protecting ourselves and our children is understandable, but how are we helping them interact with the world around them?’

Don’t get me wrong, there are still places that I have no desire to move to just for the sake of  exposing my kids to the world.  The worlds a big mess, and they will interact with it.  But it was a good reminder that we still need to be in this world we live.  As messed up as it is.

So we have a lot more knowledge and understanding, but I’m not sure we have a great deal more wisdom.

Well that was a lot of rambling, Not even sure I made any sense.

There have been a few things lately that are really getting me to think about music, worship and the like.  For a while now I have grown very tired of all the prom date songs we sing as “worship” in Church.  A friend posted the idea last week that hes looking for songs that draw him closer to God and not just want to make out with him.  That’s exactly it.  We have lost the power of Christ in our faith and focused so much on the love and mushy stuff.  Which isn’t wrong in and of itself, but rather if that’s all it is to us in our faith, that doesn’t even get close to doing Christ justice, much less God.  Then I had a discussion with a good friend of mine about how music should not be what makes us happy or feel good, but rather what are we giving to God.  And he’s absolutely right.  The dilemma is really where are hearts are at as we worship?  I can worship with hymns, chats, contemporary or just about anything.  However for sustainable growth to happen in our faith, there is an element to who we are and how we’re wired.

I had a college professor say once that to be truly academic and really study, you need to find a quiet place with zero distraction.  Ok, I get his point, and that works for him, however if I go rogue with my homework, I cannot focus!  I can’t!  It’s too quiet.  So while that idea works great for him, it doesn’t for me.  It is, I believe, the same idea with music.  God has wired us all differently and within us we have a way to draw close to Him.  Is it through music?  Art?  Dance? Reading? Nature?  I don’t know.  But I know that I can worship with any type of music, but after a while I do not feel that I give all that I have to Christ as I sing or whatever.  My friends idea was that, at first he hated XYZ, but the more he did it the more it grew on him and he started to go deeper with God through it.  Great, good for him.  I think that for centuries the Church has forced and told people they MUST do/act/sing/be a certain way to live holy lives.  It causes so much hurt, frustration and mostly indifference to their faith that they no longer truly engage with the relationship with God.

That’s why I think that as of late, I have grown increasingly frustrated with the music aspect of Church.  It’s way too focused on “dating” God and enjoying the honeymoon aspect of God that we never start to be the “bride of Christ”.  We just want to enjoy the wedding day for the rest of our faith journey.  Well anyone that has been married for more than a week will tell you that there are going to be tough times, and it’s really through those times that your relationship has grown the most.  You come out at the end of it more in love with your spouse and more willing to sacrifice for them.  And I believe that’s why Christ uses the marital relationship in reference to our relationship with Him.  It has to go through the fire of hurt, and pain.  The joys and peaks as well.  Until then, how can we ever truly love our spouse?  And in this case, love and understand God?

So I will continue, the best I can to focus on music that shows God’s power in my life, in nature and in just the essence of who He is.  Some people look at these periods of life as plateaus or maybe God isn’t around, I view it as a time of growth.  Where is God?  He is here, and He’s asking me questions, or pushing me to a different place.  He hasn’t left, so that’s not where, but where or rather what is God trying to work out in me?  Am I listening?  I hope so.

The other thing that I have been thinking about lately, and I think some of it I talked about previously, is confidence in the Gospel.  Not that I am not confident in the gospel, but I have found myself trying to “assist” the gospel.  Like it cannot stand on it’s own without a “resource”.  What does the gospel have to offer all people?  I was so focused on not scaring people off by my faith, that it got in the way of what I needed to be doing.  I was never afraid to say what I did, who I was or what I was doing, I just felt that I wouldn’t allow Christ and His gospel to stand on it’s own and me just getting out of the way.

The other aspect of this is really the fact that the Gospel is offensive.  It hurts.  And in today’s world we hide under the banner of “coexisting” really, we just don’t want to hurt anyone’s delicate sensitivities.  And I have been prone to that.  Don’t read too much into what I am saying, I’m not saying do and say whatever you want regardless of people and their views.  Contrary it’s speaking the TRUTH in love.  Ok, I think that’s it.

Again, I’m not going to spend a lot of time writing it all down, way too many thoughts.  So that’s it…Goodnight and Goodluck.

Mid post update…

Crazy, I just talked with the boss and she said she has a date for the move!  We are leaving Gillette June 6th!  Wow, crazy!  Just a couple of other small detail and it will all be taken care of.  Sweet!!  I’m getting pretty excited!

I’m really excited about this, this is really something that I need to do.  To learn, discuss and grow in my knowledge and faith is exciting!  At the same time it’s a cool new adventure.  We still have some details to get worked out, but what doesn’t?  So we’re pretty excited.

Either way, the family and I have some pretty big plans in the near future happening.  We don’t really know those plans, but we have a general idea about a couple of things, and it’s pretty big for our family.  We’re excited to figure out the possibilities and where to go, and we’re really just trying to rest in Christ and allow Him to open ideas and directions for us.  It’s amazing how less stressful it is when I allow “Jesus, take the wheel.”

The college ministry is going ok, I’ve really been able to connect with a few students and it’s great walking with them.  We’re still not busting at the seams numbers wise, but there has been a new person nearly every week, which is very exciting.  Now we just need to get them to make it a habit to come.  But It’s been pretty cool to see God working, even in the small things, or as scripture says “God is in the whisper.”

And that got me thinking about why in the world I write on this dumb thing anyways.  For me I process my thoughts by verbalizing or working through them in word, whether on “paper” or person to person.  It helps me process my thoughts.  So I thought about blogs and why we do them.  I think there are really two reasons to ever have a blog, the first is an “educational/motivational or whatever type.  Basically saying ‘I feel I have something that I think the world would be interested in reading, some profound idea or support or agenda that people would want to read about.  The other one, is more of a Journal.  Where you write thoughts, feelings ideas etc down for the benefit of yourself and if others read it than so be it.  This can be a scary aspect of writing in such an open forum.  The balance of how much is too much personal stuff.  Reason wise, I tend to lean towards the journal aspect.  Again, going back to the process.  Which is kind of scary in a sense, especially with the whole waiting on the Lord for a calling idea.  I know that when/if I throw my name in a hat for a position they will search out information on me.  Which will inevitably lead them here.  I don’t know if “they” don’t like what they read or whatever, maybe I’m not writing enough “deep thoughts with Jack Handy” type of things, I’m not spiritual enough or offer wonderful nuggets of Godly wisdom on here.  I don’t know.

For me, being a Minister is more than having great spiritual thoughts or not having feelings or observations on the world around me, no matter how un-spiritual or random them may be.  So as I sit here, it hits me…where the heck am I going with this?  (again I need to process)  If I candidate for these positions and they read this blog, and they don’t like what they see, then I get a “thank you but…” letter.  And that might be part of the tiredness.  Being rejected over and over again wears on me.  I should be used to it based on my high school years of dating, but i’m not.  So should I stop writing here?  I don’t think so, for as little as I get to write here I don’t think it’s worth it.  Plus they can read any of the past posts, so that doesn’t do much unless I close it completely.

As i’m writing, this passage came to mind…

Philippians 4:8

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

So there it is, my spiritual nugget.  Actually I think that is God’s way of reminding me of who I am.  I process things for quite a while.  She who must be obeyed calls it “analysis that leads to paralysis” I don’t go that far, but it usually takes me time to think about, pray about and process what is rattling around in my mind and heart.  God puts stuff there for a reason, and I try to put all the the puzzle pieces together.  Ok, so enough rambling.  Time to go eat some free Chinese food…Happy Chinese New Year!

The new year has also started for the college.  We had really good momentum at the end of the school year last year, and so we’re trying to get some of that back.  Some positive things are happening though, there’s a community day.  Community businesses and student organizations all have a table in the main building and we were asked if we wanted one, for sure!  So we have that this week…ahhhhh…Yea just remembered it was this week, holy cow that came fast.  It’s always an interesting challenge only being able to do this one day a week.

We actually get to go home and see my family!  Wow, it’s been a while.  It’s always a challenge and an adventure, kind of like a choose your own adventure book, make one decision about housing, or time and it changes everything.  But it’s going to be great, our nephew has a bday at the end of Feb, we have a few bday’s in March and my sister leaves for basic, so it’s a big period of time for us.  It should be a good time.

Until then, off to make some more latte’s and serve all the people of Gillette.